America’s Cup: A Return to Monohulls?

(April 1, 2016) – If Oracle Team USA successfully defends the 35th America’s Cup, they will return the format to monohulls to separate the event from the multitude of catamaran competitions that have emerged in the sport.

“We succeeded in developing the fastest catamarans, but their reduced size has reduced their grandeur,” admits Oracle CEO Russell Coutts. “I am working hard to sell the event but the boats no longer look amazing to the television network suits.”

While some believe this switch is be due to Oracle’s inability to win on the America’s Cup World Series, Coutts strongly states that is not the case.

“Now that the Extreme Sailing Series moved to the GC32s, and the World Match Racing Tour is using the M32, we need to return to the event’s monohull roots,” remarked Coutts. “But more importantly, we aren’t fooling anybody that you can match race catamarans.”

World Sailing Vice President Gary Jobson welcomed the news. “Catamarans have not proven to be any less expensive than monohulls, plus the switch to catamarans eliminated a lot of people from each team, which has flooded the sport with professional sailors. The recreational sport is suffering from their influence.”

Coutts’s long-time rival Grant Dalton of Emirates Team New Zealand chuckled when informed of the switch. “No team has more haters than Oracle, but this switch may earn them a few fans. Coutts may have finally gotten something right.”