Please, Just Name The Boat!
Published on June 8th, 2017
Cheryl and Scott Culshaw of Cincinnati, Ohio have owned 34 boats, so thinking up names is something they are pretty familiar with. Cheryl shared this poem with BoatU.S. magazine on how they agreed on Moondance for their latest boat, a 480 Sea Ray.
“Name the boat,” the captain said
“Please name the boat before I’m dead!”
I always do what he commands
So here I am with pen in hand
“Give her a name we’ve never heard
But don’t confuse us with your words
Make it clever, but fairly plain
How hard can it be to find a name
To suit this boat, this saucy lass
Who’s sleek and trim and rather fast?”
I think of places we have been:
Cape Ann, Mystic, and Fairhaven
We’ve had two Knots, do we want a third?
(Though it can be a clever word)
Forget Me Knot once graced our transom
Certainly Knot might look as handsome
Knot Again and Knot This Time
Are just two more that fit my rhyme
I could name her for some fowl
We’ve had a Sparrow, but not an owl
A reference to age might work best
Heaven Can Wait or Eternal Rest
Perhaps a name with salty flair:
Sea Chanty, Sea Saw, Mermaid’s Chair
There’s Two By Two of Noah’s fame
Two If By Sea was once our name
Blessed Event, Never Ending Story
Come from our days of youthful glory
As we travel west and north
Trouble seems to dog our course
If we survive and still are sane
I’ll vote to name her Calamity Jane
My head is now spinning, my hand’s growing weak
Where is the Perfection that I seek?
Please give me Patience, a little Endurance
I think I just need some self-assurance
I know that a boat name can’t say it all
It just has to work as a radio call
Something to put on our documentation
That speaks rather well of our reputation
Could somebody famous lend us his name?
Maybe not Cap’N Crunch, but
There’s always Mark Twain
Through every porthole the sun has now risen
Please find me a cure for my indecision
Another day, another list
Will there be no end to this?
What would please my jolly skipper?
Sun Salutation or Big Dipper
River Dance, Yonder, Fare Thee Well
Would Happiness Project ring his bell?
What would look good with our port of call?
How about nothing — nothing at all?
Aweigh We Go in morning mist
Naming boats is hit or miss
I swear before we end this day
I’ll choose a name, Come What May
Good Captain, sit down, tie yourself to the mast
I’ve chosen a name for this vessel at last
I christen her Moondance; that is her name
If people don’t like it, I’ll take the blame
Choosing this name did not come with ease
You haven’t exactly been easy to please
But “Moon” as a nickname gives us a way
To honor your sister, that rag bagger Kay
Whose face was round and full of light
Especially when sailing the waters so bright
And when you’re ready to sell her come some future June
You can announce to your broker “I’m over the Moon!”