OLYMPICS: Yngling Returns as Men’s Keelboat Event

Lausanne, Switzerland (April 1, 2013) – At a special meeting at IOC headquarters, Jacques Rogge, President of the International Olympic Committee (and an Olympian and World Champion in the Finn class), used the rare IOC Presidential Decree to declare the Yngling as the equipment for the men’s keelboat discipline at the 2016 Olympic Games.

The announcement led to a near riot, much to the delight of the press corps, who had been expecting another long-winded IOC announcement on doping policy.

Rogge’s announcement was apparently spurred by a lack of action from the International Sailing Federation. “We sometimes have to live up to our motto as the ‘supreme authority of the Olympic Movement,’ Rogge explained to the audience, which included the usual mix of suit-jacketed officials and bored press, as well as a small group of suntanned sailors seated right up front.

Rogge was still reading from his prepared statement when one of those sailors, a large male with a star-shaped tattoo on his neck, roared to his feet. “This is bollocks!” he shouted. “We tell you to bring back the Star, and instead you give us a bloody girlie boat!”

The reaction to the announcement was swift as coaches and ISAF officials punched numbers into cell phones, calling anyone who might still own a competitive Yngling. “I sailed one of those Ding-A-Lings once back in Oz,” commented an observer. “When I sat down on the side deck, my knees came up to me shoulders. What’s this guy thinking?”

Stay tuned to this space for results from the Yngling’s first Y-chromosome Olympic debut at the Semaine Olympique Francaise, known as SOF – only three weeks away.