What’s the big deal about owning a boat?

Published on July 30th, 2017

As much as sailors love sailing, we must accept that not everyone may understand what drives our passion. Comedian Jim Gaffigan has some thoughts on that:

Summer is here, and so are the boats. I’m not a boat person. I’m not anti-boat. I’m not afraid of the water. I don’t get seasick. I just don’t understand what the big deal of being on a boat is.

“We’re floating on water. How exciting.”

I’m aware boats have and remain an important form of transportation. I appreciate some people make a living using a boat. I even understand that some musicians and celebrities enjoy cavorting on boats to impress fans.

It’s the other boat owners that I don’t understand — the seemingly normal people who own boats. Those wierdos.

If you’re not using your boat for work, as a place of residence, or to impress shallow friends, why do you own a boat?

Paying insane amounts of money so you can float around in open water, drinking beer in direct sunlight, and eating soggy sandwiches from a cooler has very little appeal to me.

My sister, Pam, has a boat on Lake Michigan, and from what I can tell there are roughly seven days during a Chicago summer she can use it. It seems like Macy’s Thanksgiving floats are used more often annually.

Some people enjoy “taking their boat out,” whatever that means, then eating in a marina. If you are unaware what a marina is, it’s a boat parking lot, filled with other weirdos who shovel hundreds of dollars into docking fees and boat maintenance while the polar ice caps melt.

Anyway, did I mention I’m not outdoorsy?

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