Nothing to lose, Everything to gain

The year before the Olympics is when each country begins the process of determining who will represent them at the Games. For the sailors, it is a moment when all the years of work must produce results or else.

For US Laser sailor Chris Barnard, the year started strong when he won the 2019 Princess Sofia Trophy (April 1-6) in Spain, a massive event that launches the European season. It was the progress he was looking for, but has since struggled to match.

The 2019 Laser Standard Rig World Championship (July 4-9) in Japan began the selection for the USA team, and it was an inauspicious start for Barnard. While his teammate Charlie Buckingham finished 11th, he ended up 39th among the 159 entrants.

With only the 2020 Worlds in February remaining to determine the USA representative for Tokyo 2020, Barnard, now 28 years old, needs to make up nearly 30 position points. Seeking to attend his first Olympics, Barnard reflects on the situation during his second campaign:

It’s been hard to come to terms, accept, and most importantly forgive myself for my performance at the World Championships last month. To be honest, it has been some of the hardest few weeks I’ve gone through emotionally. This experience has forced me to look DEEP inside myself, seek where I truly find value in life, where do my motivations come from, why am I doing this, what makes me happy, and so on.

There are a million thoughts and layers to unpack through this experience and how I will grow as a sailor, a competitor, and as a human being. I will never forget this experience, but forgiveness is the beginning of the process to heal and grow.

I continue this journey because I am eager to see how far I can go in mastering my craft. I am doing this for me and nobody else, and that is important for everyone to remember in any endeavor you seek in life. It comes from deep in your soul and only you can make yourself truly happy. That is where greatness happens.

A quote I recently read from a Zen master reads this – “If you crave acceptance and recognition and try to change yourself to fit what other people want you to be, you will suffer all your life. True happiness and true power lie in understanding yourself, accepting yourself, having confidence in yourself. When we are mindful, deeply in touch with the present moment, our understanding of what is going on deepens, and we begin to be filled with acceptance, joy, peace and love.”

Teammates and friends around the world like the ones I have (click here), and many more not pictured, support each other to bring out our best. They’ve been there for me the last few weeks, will continue to be there for me, and I will be there for them.

Still so much more to learn and process, but hopefully this is step one. Nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain in life. Off to Enoshima, Japan for the Olympic Test Event and World Cup. Let’s ride!